While you're leading up to this, you should take a bar napkin and rip it in into little 1" squares. We don't have any duck food!" The next day, here comes the duck again into the . The types of variations include . As he was getting ready to close down, three ducks walked through the front doors. The man yells "DUCK!!! Ah, Perry the Platypus. A horse walks into a bar. A bag of fertilizer walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm not serving you, you're out of your skull!". Short and punchy, here are some funny duck jokes as one-liners. Sunday, February 22, 2009 at 5:38 PM. Below you'll find 20 great takes on the classic "A guy walks into a bar…" joke. "No," The bartender says of annoyed. The barman looks at him and says, "But you're a duck". I'll nail you to the bench." Walks into a bar. bar tender says no. Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!" Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! It's often a horse or a duck, and, in certain examples, I have also seen people use a frog as a subject of the joke. Joke: Duck walks into a bar A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. Bartender says, "Hey, you're a crate of lumber!". Two jumper cables walk into a bar. It asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender replies, "No? We don't really sell that kind of stuff." So the duck leaves. The outside. 1. Duck says "good. Got any . Here are the 16 best walk into a bar jokes: 1. The next day the duck walks into the bar and says, "Got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you come back, I'll nail your beak to the bar!" The duck shakes his feathers, quacks, and leaves. The seat is a little too snug. So, you're in a bar and want to have a bit of fun and impress someone. The bartender says, "no this is a bar. Send to your friends and see if they can . Five minutes after that, a skunk tries to walk into the bar. He asks the manager, "Do you have any duck food?" The manager says, "No, we don't have any duck food." The duck leaves, and comes back later. "One dollar cover," says the bouncer. This joke is so simple it is actually hilarious. So a duck walks into a bar and asks the Bartender, "Got any gwapes?" The bartender says, "No!". The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, "Hey!"The horse says, "You read my mind, buddy." A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk not a bar. A ghost walks into a bar, the bartender says. Two guys walk into a bar. The bartender is shocked by what he sees and tries to organize a job for the talking duck. You may also like. I will see how you joke after i share your address libtard. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . A duck walks into a bar one day waddle over and waddles over to the bartender, the duck asks . Duck walks out. The basic syntax is as follows: "A <noun> walks into a bar and <humorous event happens>". The crossword clue possible answer is available in 3 letters. April 22, 2017. 8. The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up. A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill. A doctor walks into a bar. "I'll have a glass of blood," said one. Jokes Marriage. "I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck. The duck walks out, comes back the next day and asks the Bartender, "Got any gwapes?" The bartender says, "No!". We do not sell grapes." So the next day the duck walks into the bar and asks for some grapes. "Got any grapes?" the duck asks. Related Keywords. Just dog food and cat food." "Okay, thanks," the. A blind man walks into a bar. This crossword clue "___ duck walks into a bar.": 2 wds. 240 Shares. The next day the duck walks back into the feed store and approaches the same clerk. Lovely day. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. When You Ask the Wrong Guy for Photoshop Help . Brookfield, CT. A duck walks into a bar and says, "Hey bartender, got any scotch?" The bartender says "Get outta here- we don't serve your kind." The duck leaves, but returns the next evening, and again asks "Hey bartender, got any scotch?" Bartender says "I told you yesterday we don't serve your kind- get the he** outta here, and . I obviously think the others can too, but that's what sets me slightly apart from some of my readers. I should get him a new one, but he'll just grow out of it and need a booster seat. A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, "Five beers please.". Five minutes later, a turtle tries to walk into the bar. He tells the bartender,"Give me 2 shots of…". A guy goes into a bar/restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. How are you gonna pay for all that liquor?" The duck replies, "Just put it on my tab." A nearby bar patron cheekily says, "Don't you mean 'put it on my bill'?" The duck says to the bartender, "Okay, put it on his bill." 22. It adds up. Some History Behind Walks into a Bar Jokes. The next day, the duck goes back to the. by Jonathan Swan. and if you ask that one more time Ill nail your beak shut!". The very next day, the duck is back, and askes the bartender for another beer. <noun>, "At these prices I can see why.". 38 New "Animal Walks Into A Bar" Jokes, Because Puns Are Awesome. "I'll have a glass of plasma," said the other. One day in a small redneck town in the middle of nowhere sat a lonely bartender in an empty bar. Maybe. The bartender says, "No, we only sell beer here." The duck leaves. A duck walks into a bar. and says, "You got any fish?". Collection of Bar Jokes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The bartender. 6. 10 Funniest "Man Walked Into a Bar" Jokes (Slideshow) "One dollar cover," says the bouncer. A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says. Two termites walk into a . Vote. These types of jokes also often have an anthropomorphized animal as the main subject. "Hey mate, you got any corn?" "NO WE DONT HAVE ANY FUCKING CORN! If you want to have fun in the bar, then read some animal in bar jokes or bear walks into a bar jokes and see how you bring smiles to everyone's face in the bar with you. NEXT JOKE Pet Rules. A man walks into a bar and briskly orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots. 3) Why did the duck cross the playground? He orders a daiquiri, and the bartender serves him up. Bar Jokes . says, "I told you yesterday, this is a bar and we. The duck has a bill, so he waddles right in. DarthTolkien. The bartender turned to the third duck and said, 'So, you must be Louie?' 'No,' she said, batting her eyelashes. " Hey, bartender! Mu shu duck, a crepe drizzled with a soy glaze and scallions. Bartender says, "Just don't do anything rash.". "Okay," replied the bartender, "That'll be… one blood and one blood lite…". Edit 3:- To the person who messaged. A <noun> walks into a bar and orders a beer. Duck goes in the next day and says, "You got any duck food?". To get to the other slide. WE DON'T SELL GRAPES! . The skunk walks away disappointed, for he only . A Black Widow walks into a bar . Joke :A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks,". A sandwich walks into a bar. A duck walks into a bar The barman says "Good morning, whats your name?" The Duck responds "Good morning, My name is Dewie" The barman asks, "How has your day been?" As he pours the duck a drink The duck responds "Great, ive been in and out of puddles all day, what more could a duck want?" The barman replies "Q . This is my favorite joke of all time. 8 Anti Joke Tyrone A duck walks into a bar. A duck walks into a hardware store. First up, a classic rubber duck joke: 1) What do you call a duck that steals things from the bathroom? 200 Shares. After finishing his drink, he compliments the bartender, saying, "that's the best daiquiri I've ever had!" The next day, the doctor returns and orders another daiquiri, the bartender serves him, the doctor drinks it down and again compliments . Show Answer 2. The Priest says "I bet I can go up to the bartender, have a few beers, and get out without paying." The Rabbi and Minister do not think this is possible, so without further wait the Priest goes up to the bartender, has a few drinks and begins to exit the bar, but the bartender calls out "Sir . The duck walks out again. WE DON'T HAVE GRAPES! 2. This answers first letter of which starts with S and can be found at the end of A. The bartender is shocked by what he sees and tries to organize a job for the talking duck. "So, a duck walks into a bar, and he asks the bartender, 'Got any crackers?'" "Ducks eat crackers?" He pulls at the buckles on his car seat. Tone muscles and burn calories Healthy laughter can help in burning calories. And orders a hundred bottles of scotch. More jokes about: animal, car, duck, hunting, lawyer. Joke: So, a duck walks into a bar. Edit 2:- to the person who called reddit care on me thanks for your concern but no thanks I don't need it. Bartender says, "You can come in, but don't give me any shit.". You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. The bartender says, "We don't serve ducks here." The duck says, "I'll pay you $20." "Your money isn't good here." One says, "I'll have an H2O please" The second scientist says, "I'll have . A panda walks into a bar and gobbles some beer nuts. A robber ducky. The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. A man and a duck are walking down the street together. A duck walks into a bar one day waddle over and waddles over to the bartender, the duck asks "got any lunch?" Bartender replies back "sorry this is a bar we don't serve lunch" duck happily says "ok" and leaves. "And you can talk!" exclaims the barman. Bar tender says, "I told you yesterday and the day before that no! A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The bartender walks up, hands the duck a menu, waits a while, and comes back to take his order. It asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender replies, "No? Mar 2, 2016 - An eCard Walks Into A Bar A man walks into a bar and says, 'Ouch!' A man from the street crew walks into a bar with chunk of asphalt paving under his arm. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." The duck shakes his feathers, quacks, and leaves. Includes some of the best groaners I've read in ages, such as: Inanimate objects can walk into a bar: Three fonts walk into a bar. So then you say to the person you're going to impress, "How do you know if someone has been . The bartender says "Okay, but don't start anything.". And a chair. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. Bartender says, "If your wife calls, I didn't see you.". Suddenly, the man notices a frisbee flying in the air and yells "Duck!" The duck looks back at the man and yells "Man!" 53) Ducks don't enjoy being stressed - they quack under pressure. This joke has gained an incredible . Got any crackers . You can have the duck." Vote: share joke. The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, "again.". The initial perception of the joke is that a man is walking into a bar to have a drink, but this only lasts a few seconds as the punchline is quickly uttered. 2) On what side does a duck have the most feathers? A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes"? I've had a ball too. What's for lunch!? Vote: The third one ducks. Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers? And a table. He again walked up to the bartender and asked, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, his face turning red, said, "I told you yesterday! "Got any duck food?" Again, the clerk replies with a no. Then he pulls out a gun, fires it in the air, and heads for the door. A crate of 2 by 4's walks into a bar. Show Answer 3. I think it is a Soupy Sales joke: A duck goes into a grocery store and says, "Do you have any duck food?". 1. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! A man walks into a bar on a Friday evening. We don't really sell that kind of stuff." So the duck leaves. The bartender serves the duck, who chugs it down, flies out the door without paying, and leaves a mess all over the bar. *activates trap*. A duck walks into the local bar in search of a drink and something to eat. The next day the duck walks into the bar again. Two vampires walked into a bar. Funny Jokes - A Duck Walks Into A Bar And Asks The Bartender, Got Any Grapes?Try not to laugh at these funny jokes. Milk and quackers. The duck has a bill, so he waddles right in. The bartender looks a little surprised, but lines of 12 more shots. The exact origin of the standard walks into a bar joke is said to have started with a joke involving a dry martini that appeared in the New York Times. The barman looks at him and says, "hang on! Two jumper cables walk into a bar. Three fonts walk into a bar. A diaper walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the guy that got me all wet!". Quackers. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type in here." bar tender says no. A man walks into the pet store and says, "How much for the duck?" The pet store clerk says, "30 dollars." The man says, "Ok, just send me the bill." The pet store clerk replies, "Sorry but you have to take the whole bird!" . The bartender says, "That's gonna be pretty expensive. upvote downvote report To bring more laughter into your life, let's have a look at the key health benefits of laughter below. Duck goes in the next day and says, "You . What else could a duck want?'. was discovered last seen in the May 14 2021 at the Daily Themed Crossword. The next day the duck walks into the bar and says " you got any nails?". Duck walks out. NO, we don't have grapes!" The duck walked out of the bar but was back again the next day. Guy says, "No". 4) Why do ducks fly south for the winter? Duck joke. A duck walks into a bar, sits down at the barstool, and waits for the bartender. You know, we don't get many <noun>s in here." replies the bartender. A dyslexic man walks into a bra… Two scientists walk into a bar. Unlike my five most recent subjects of walks into a bar jokes, a daily deals coupon; computer mouse; tape dispenser; school bus; and urinal, most people would agree that a duck can, of course, walk into a bar. A duck walks into the local bar in search of a drink and something to eat. "One dollar cover," says the bouncer. Not Eligible To Win. The bartender yells as it flies away. The duck thanks him and leaves.The next day, the duck re. The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge.". A duck walks into a feed store. The following day the duck walks in again and . We think SOA is the possible answer on this clue. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some grapes. The turtle has a greenback, so he walks right in. It's literally just a joke. The turtle has a greenback, so he walks right in. "Got any grapes?" the duck asks. Next joke An Old Man Goes Into A Restaurant. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. Analysis: Upon hearing this joke, I immediately recognized a connection to another subgenre of jokes: "A blank walks in a bar…" jokes. Make a fist, and stick the squares in the middle of it. Jack, the bartender, was working behind the bar cleaning glasses around midday when a duck came waddling into the pub. The next day, the duck comes back in. "I see your ears are working, too," says the Duck. 5) Why do ducks lay eggs? "Hey!" shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, "I'm a panda . it, grabs the duck by the neck and screams, Jan 16, 2006. Login to Comment; eBaum's Picks. 7. A Duck Walks Into A Bar. Some of them warrant a chuckle, some a groan, but we've come across a few that actually make us laugh. A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem. The bar joke has a large number of variations. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. "What'll it be?" the bartender says.The duck says, "I think I'll have the grapes." "Well, I'm sorry sir, but this is a bar, we don't serve grapes here. "Here you are, that'll be $7.50. A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. Jack, the bartender, was working behind the bar cleaning glasses around midday when a duck came waddling into the pub. Duck comes back the next day and asks, "got any nails?" bar tender says no. I mean this is a bar. !" and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells "MAN!!! Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers? No joke. . and if you ask that one more time I'll nail your beak shut!" Duck walks out. Favorite this joke. The skunk walks away disappointed, for he only . Blonde walks into a bar : the 4,000 most hilarious, gut-busting gags, one-liners and jokes. If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. Uploaded 05/11/2010 A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No." . We're paraphrasing a bit here but this is the basic joke as it apparently appeared in a 1952 New York Times paper in April. Here is one of the jokes I told her: A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any duck food?" The bartender says, "No." The next day, the duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any duck food?" The bartender says, "No." Free Printable Lunch Box Notes with jokes of the day or words of encouragement to surprise your child in . The next day, the duck comes back in. The bartender, upon seeing them, says "sorry, we don't serve minors.". ). in Joke of the Day Joke of the Day: A duck walks into a bar A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. I mean this is a bar. A man walks into his home holding a duck by the neck He looks at his wife and says, "Honey, here's the pig I've been fuckin'" Confused, she corrects him, "Sweetheart, that's a duck" "I wasn't talking to you" Duck walks into a pub. This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The next day, the duck returns . A brain walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. The bartender says, "May I help you, sir?" The duck replies, "Yeah. A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper . Peterman's Eye has a neat post analyzing (okay, more like gently 'splaining) the classic "man walks into a bar" joke. Duck comes back the next day and asks, "got any nails?" bartender says no. Joke has 85.44 % from 636 votes. Five minutes later, a turtle tries to walk into the bar. I am mentally sound and physically fit. Learn to take a joke like a joke or don't browse r/Jokes. We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!" Duck says: "Got any nails?" Duck says: "Got any bread? You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. He walks up to the clerk and says, "Got any duck food?" The clerk replies, "nope" and the duck walks out. Even more, laughter also acts as a cheat sheet when it comes to getting a toned stomach. It's a damn girrafe! A duck walks into a bar. Marc L. 299 followers . IF YOU ASKFOR CORN ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO NAIL YOUR FEET TO THE BAR!" The duck says "sorry" and walks out. He tells the bartender, "I'd like three shots of your finest Irish whiskey, please." The bartender lines the three shots up for him, the gent pays for his drinks, enjoys the whiskeys, and leaves without another word. The bartender is skeptical about the dog talking. A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day." "Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay." The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas.